Solitary Refinement Discussion Forum

Struggles

2010-01-11T22:37:29Z

weel, I definately struggle with complacency, but also self pitty to a degree. Before I became a Christian, I pittied myself greatly. and I did, as was written, fall into many addictions. I alsways thought that it was a way to escape from my current situation. A way to keep my mind off of everything that was happening. It did not do that though. In the back of my mind, I was jsutifying everything that I was doing thorugh the undesired circumstances of my childhood and adolecent years. Not a good rut to be in. Now I have strived to achieve many goals. But I still only put forth half of my efforts. I blame this on undesired circumstances as well. I have to stop passing the buck the pick it up and put forth my 100% effort. That is the only wya to please God and to be a good steward of the gifts He has given to me.

This is very challenging and something htat I need to pray through for a while. He has been soeakign to me a lot recently about taking responsibility.

Weariness

2010-01-11T19:10:05Z

Sometimes I allow my weariness of this world and my longing to be in a perfect heaven with a holy God to turn into laziness, complacency and self-pity. I feel offended when I have to spend my time doing something other than what I want to do, and I get annoyed when I have to deal with stupid situations instead of spending time doing something worthwhile. This chapter was a good reminder that I need to be careful to not let my desire for heaven keep me from doing what God wants me to do while I am here on earth. I need to live with an eternal perspective, but that doesn’t mean I can check out of this world.

Thoughts

2008-10-28T09:25:37Z

The 3 ruts Christopher talks about in this chapter seem to tell the story of my life. I deal with all 3 on a daily basis. Self-pity is probably my worst. Having been a morally good christian kid, and growing up to just always be good has been my way of dealing with God. He wants so much more of me than to be ‘good’. I’ve found myself having pity parties like Job or some one, thinking I don’t deserve this. But really I’ve come to learn that’s life. Life happens and just because I don’t like it doesn’t give me the right to have a pity party.

5 things I need to do… take a shower, call some friends to try and have coffee and encourage them, be patient, clean the house, pray
5 things I should do… uhmmm. all of the above
5 things I want to do… do some photography, rest in God, read, learn something new, do some art

If I completed these things how would it change my relationships. Well, for one I might get the chance to encourage some friends who are struggling with life and just be there for them. If that’s one thing I’m good at it’s giving of my time and my ears just to be there for some one. If I took the time I would like to to pray… Who knows what could be shifted?

On a scale of 1-10 my problems are probably really low… like maybe a 4? that could be a bit generous. I know God has blessed me and I see that and thank him for it daily. I’ve found that any and every time I begin to think about my self and not others that it begins a down ward spiral into depression or negativity that I don’t want in my life. God showed this to me early this year and it truly has been what He continually has reminded me over and over this whole year.

The rut of laziness

2010-01-08T10:28:43Z

When I’m sick and not feeling up to par, laziness quickly becomes my rut. I allow my physical condition to suppress my mental capability. I tend to tell myself that it’s time to stop. I should not do any more. Some people think I’m a workaholic because I keep going. The truth is that I know myself and I’m afraid to stop. If I stop, I may not start back up again.

List 5 things:

A. You need to do…
1) Wake up and go to bed earlier
2) Feed my soul as often as I feed my body
3) Narrow my focus
4) Strengthen my relationships
5) Give myself a break

B. You should do…
1) Take a vacation
2) Meditate more on what I have done instead of criticizing myself for things I have not done
3) Laugh at Satan’s weak attempts
4) Dream more
5) Relax
C. You want to do…

1) Write books
2) Speak more
3) Have my own family
4) Feel God’s presence in the valleys
5) Hold someone and be held

If I complete the things on this list, I believe I will slowly become the man God intended me to be. In the book I said I do not tolerate self-pity. The truth is we don’t tolerate self-pity in someone else. We want them to deal with their insecurities without imposing and complicating our lives. Yet, we justify our need for compassion so well that we become addicted to it. So, we turn to the people and things that are temporary. And when we think we need something now and realize it may not last long enough for us, we fall back into self-pity mode.