weel, I definately struggle with complacency, but also self pitty to a degree. Before I became a Christian, I pittied myself greatly. and I did, as was written, fall into many addictions. I alsways thought that it was a way to escape from my current situation. A way to keep my mind off of everything that was happening. It did not do that though. In the back of my mind, I was jsutifying everything that I was doing thorugh the undesired circumstances of my childhood and adolecent years. Not a good rut to be in. Now I have strived to achieve many goals. But I still only put forth half of my efforts. I blame this on undesired circumstances as well. I have to stop passing the buck the pick it up and put forth my 100% effort. That is the only wya to please God and to be a good steward of the gifts He has given to me.

This is very challenging and something htat I need to pray through for a while. He has been soeakign to me a lot recently about taking responsibility.