I’ve always grown up worrying about what I thought others thought about me. I felt the same as all the other girls in middle school yet I was the one who got made fun of or the boys didn’t like. My defense was to kick them in the shins if the boys were mean to me. I couldn’t deal with feeling different, but now see God has made me specially me. I’ve never been eloquent with words and have always lacked self esteem because of that. My journey has consisted of learning to love who God made me, even if I’m not like what I think I want to be. As an adult I’m in a healthy work environment where people aren’t afraid to tell you that you’re doing a great job or this area is really where you flourish. Even so, I have that mental garbage that sits and stinks up my thought life.
Who am I allowing to influence my thoughts? I have some really strong Christian friends I look to to influence my thoughts. I listen to them and what God has to say about such and such. I also look to people who are in a stage of life that would be next for me and watch, take note and just think about the things they say or do. In a way I’m learning what it means to be a christian wife, and hopefully soon what it means to be a mom.
What types of books am I reading? I’m in several books/magazines. I’m obviously reading Solitary Refinement, Mere Christianity with my husband, classical devotions with a small group, a biography about Beatrix Potter, and Mental Floss Magazine. I try to read things that will further my mind. I feel cheated from high school and am trying to make up for lost time of not reading and expanding my horizons through books.
How fresh is the information? Some of it is tried and true, some new thoughts and some just discovered. Being well rounded is how I want to be, but was never taught.
Is there nutritional value? I would have to say yes. The christian books are furthering my faith and the others are so I can learn something new about some one or something else. Something outside of my self or this very small world I live in.
What would people think if I did speak my mind? Well, I’m pretty good about speaking my mind. People call me Sassy sometimes because of it. It’s not that I want to offend, I just when I have a strong opinion you’ll know it. But in the same respect if I have no opinion, I’m not going to rattle off just to be heard.
I love the verse Christopher gives at the end. It is one of my life verses. What so ever things are true, honest, just, lovely, pure and of a good report think on these things. I know I have battles waging on in my thoughts and have tried to use this single verse to control them. My problem has been I’ve never wanted to deal or confront those thoughts. Often times I say to myself well that thought is nothing I should think about so I’ll just not think about it and yet it pushes and pushes until I can no longer not think about it, and yet I still won’t deal with it. So my desire from this book would be to learn how to deal with the garbage and take it to the curb and allow God to cleanse me rather than me trying to cover the stench with perfume!
